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Sunday, 16 May 2010

New Beginning...>

Its been more than a yr since we last blog....and i suppose we both kind of forget abt this blog of ours...

As times passes, i realise alot of things changes...n we tend to take things n each other for granted. I do silly things just to get his attention which in the end turn out to be the wrong kind of attention that i wanted to get from him....Probably things ain't the same anymore as before...the level of tolerance is lower....we quarrel even easily.....over the slighter things...it always started over small simple things n becos of our stubborness none of us want to give in, it turns out crazy....

Just hang up the phone after chatting with him...n i tot of tis blog...i tot of the time we used to spent together...the happier days back then...simple and carefree....the days where we just got together..everything was so pure and innocent...n i wonder where have the we gone to...

i rmbered the time when we sat at the playground downstair my house...and he singing songs to me...songs that was meant for me...sang from the heart...the shyness he showed when he sang the songs to me...those xiao ru ran zuang days...where my heart flutter for him seems to vanish over time...and as time goes by we seem to forget abt the past...now that we are married....i wont say we are less loving but i think we tend to take things for granted n the feeling are nv the same as before...the care n concern he showed is also different...in the past he would probably be too over concern....but now perhap it cause its always happening that hes ignoring me whenever im piss...leaving me to get angry leaving me to cool down myself....n leaving me to be alone till i want to contact him.i hate that kind of feeling to be dump alone whenever im piss...i hate it....i feel so not love...i cant help but to tear... y issit tat he can be so nice to me when everything is ok...but whenever we quarrel he can be so cruel as to dump me alone....he wont be worried abt my safety...i do not know how long we gona last...or when will he start to get tired of everything n decided to let go...i do not know how long he can keep to the promise of being with me till we grow old together....y cant i be stronger...i wish i could be more independent and not depend so much on him...i miss the good old days...i miss the caring him...i wish we could go back to the past...i wish we could start all over again...

sometimes he just give me the feeling that he isnt realli bothered or concern at how our wedding will turn out to be...hes taking everything too easily..n i feel that as the man of the house...he shld be putting in more effort to make our wedding n future a better 1....i wished he could let me feel more secured...hes taking n thinking everything too easily...thinking that everything would turn out fine....but as a gerl...who wouldnt want her wedding to be the best, to have big surprises..but yet he doesnt seem to be realli putting any effort in planning...hes taking his own sweet time to do the things...n i wonder if he realli wants the wedding to turn out grand...='(

haix....it seems like its too late for any regrets...no wonder they say that guy changes after marriage...b4 marriage everything yes...after marriage everything no....im hoping and wishing for a new beginning...a new chapter in our life...things to change...to turn out fine...he to show more concern...he to be more auto...he to put in the effort...to take things seriously...to love me more...to understand me deeper....

# posted by Jin & Ling at 1:42 am